My Tweets

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Funny Tweets
The funniest tweets on twitter - the comic

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  • Black Friday: because only in America people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have. Sat Nov 30
  • tbh im pretty much almost always hungry 24/7 Mon Aug 05
  • i hate it when flies fucking rub their stupid little shitty hands together like they’re plotting to ruin my life those tiny little bastards Tue Jun 11
  • Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Twitter. Thu Apr 25
  • 4/20 = National Weed Day 4/21 = National Drug Testing Day 4/22 = National Unemployment Day Sun Apr 21
  • #WeBrokeUpBecause http://t.co/aIpBtOeX2l Sun Apr 21
  • It's 4/20, good luck blaming your bloodshot eyes on allergy season. #happy420 Sun Apr 21
  • . Sun Feb 10

Note: Twitter limits the number of tweets returned to 3,200.